I held back the sunset
in hopes that today
would never end.

She put it there at the edge of the hill contemplating at the sky. Bands of blue, yellow and red stretched till the horizon and on the horizon was a round red ball, the sun. It emitted light which fell on the sea got reflected back to the sky. The sky was clear and birds in a V formation were going back home.

A smile appeared on her face, when she was young she had always wanted to fly with them. The sun started setting and fog was visible. The sky started darkening and the sea became rough. Waves were as high as 3 ft and looking down now made her feel lethargic. She got up and rested herself on a bench. She looked at the time, quarter to seven.

She was getting late but she was so mesmerized by the place that her mind refused to go. So she decided to stay for a little longer. The sky was black and everything seemed to be still. The only sounds that could be heard were of the waves lashing on the stony surface of the hill.

She looked at the time again, it was eight thirty. It was quite late so she had to leave. She looked at the sky and the sea once more and started walking back. It was a long way home and she had to walk it down. Treasuring the beauty of the place in her heart. She felt beautiful and content.

Stuck on your seat
Errors repeat
End in defeat
Ctrl + Alt + Delete

How many times do you press this in you life?

Maybe I just did today. Junk files are to be deleted, isn’t it? Hehe. Kidding though. Most of the time, I couldn’t be able to think of whom/what should I be deleting in my life..

Is it really needed to rub out those that you don’t need at all? It is not that. Sometimes, when you still need the person, you just have to remove him/her. Does this thing happen to you by any chance? Deleting is like forgetting to me, forgetting the feelings but not the memories. Memories are said to be lasting and lifelong. Maybe you could compare it to some corrupted file that can’t be deleted. How much and how long you’ve tried to forget those? You really can’t darling. Some other reasons of it might be the major ones. Misunderstandings? Doubts? Fights and all. Yes, really could be. You know you’re aware that just one press, it all goes away. Just one press, nothing may stay.

Signs are also included in this matter. “God, give me a sign..” is one way of a hint if you are to delete this person in your life. Right folks? Or maybe you don’t believe on this thing. If only heart has a Central Processing Unit of its own, then Love wouldn’t be such a big problem. Whys and Hows of removing a person in you life – that must have been hard. Just THINK first before doing the act or you won’t be able to restore the files that has been permanently deleted. Better keep an eye, keep a heart, keep the mind.

But..

..the good thing of deleting, is you can start all over again.

Say hello to Ginger.

First of all, she’s not mine. (That emoticon must be )

My groupmates, we went at my classmates house, I think that was last week, to practice our play in one of our subject. It was in Marikina. It was far from my place but we couldn’t think of any place other than Plops’ pad. So there. At the point of stepping into the gate of the house, Ginger came across and wagged her tail. To think, it was only the first time we met. I mean, only few dogs are like that. Some dogs are men hater. With Ginger, it’s like we’ve known each other for a long time now. She often lie down her back and you would really notice she wants to play. Hehe. Hamaygeddd. I missed her already. *sigh

During our practice, I still play with Ginger. She always like playing dead. Haha! Because when she’d lie down, she’s not gonna move anymore! Hahaha! Especially when you start to tap her breast and tummy. I wanna see her again. When the time came that we’re going home at the morning, I paved bye to her. I feel like sad. I just want to take her home, but Plops, ofcourse, wouldn’t allow me to even just for one day. Haha. My bag is somewhat big that time, and I even planned to take Ginger home. Hahaha! Stupid.

I wish I’d have my dog, and I’d name the dog after Ginger. Hehe. Btw, Ginger is a Shih Tzu and the title is the scientific name of Ginger.

I love you Ginger. I miss you so much.

Minsan tamad akong mag-aral. Ay hindi. Lagi pala.

This picture was taken while I’m reviewing for my Revalida – it is kind of a return demonstration which are all nursing skills. Like how to insert an nasogastric tube, changing IV, perineal care, etc. All of the skills that was tackled on that whole semester would be included on the day of Revalida. So could you imagine? I mean, not much of a nurse student though. Hehe.

When this is all I’ve got (in the photo, the syringe with the needle), all I wanted to do is not to prick myself though but to take photos. That time I really really wanted to update my accounts and I wanted to do blogs but I mustn’t because I have to review for my Revalida! Geez. So there, I took a photo with anything beside my book. I just keep on saying to myself, “You really need to review Pau. ‘Wag kang maging tamad!” But then again, words failed. Hahahaha! I didn’t mem’rize all the procedures, instead I just keep on reading them and as long as I’m done and I understand it, then that’s it. Hehe.

My Revalida was done. I passed it. YAY! I did steam inhalation and nebulization (I know some of you readers can’t relate. ) and plus, I know my clinical instructor. She once became our professor in our lecture in one of the concept of my subject Nursing Care Management. And that made me relax, that made me comfortable to answer all her questions.  So there. Thank God I passed and thank God it was then Sunday.

Yes. Those are drops of blood. Here’s the story…

It was exactly 12:30 in the afternoon. I attended my Community Development class after having my lunch. There, was my classmate. I sat right next to him. On my right, my other girl classmate listening to our professor. I faced the classmate on my left. He used to tease me always (I am used to do it too) and we both do things that are unusual. We want to just have fun, oftentimes. If we start to trip, we sneak out during class hours, eat outside like a big fat man, go inside the school and return to our classroom when it’s time for dismissal. He is nothing but ordinary, he is just like other boys. As a matter of fact, where he really sits is not beside me. He just wants to.

So there. Going back, I felt like my eyes start to froze and it was going down. I WAS BEGINNING TO FALL ASLEEP and that moment he handed me his G-Tec pointed ballpen. He said, “Pau, please? Tanggalin mo nga takip nitong ballpen ko?” The ballpen he handed me is really really unusual. A rubber band was tied and rolled up going from the butt of the ballpen onto its cap. Then I was like, “Kalalaki mong tao hindi mo kaya ‘to! Hahaha!” I opened the cap with full force, it bounced back towards the side of my pointed finger and an instant blood came out from my finger. That was the story. Actually, after that he just laughed and he said sorry. But he showed me his handkerchief and unfolded it and he said, “Akala mo ikaw lang may ganyan? Ako din.” Showing drops of blood also from his handkerchief.

I didn’t mind to ask where did it came from because I was busy sipping my blood. XD

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start to come out.

But what if those wishes of you both doesn’t seem to happen? Though you both tried many times, still it couldn’t link into. Who says love is so simple? Otherwise, it’s not. Who says love is easy? Easy transforming into complicated situations. First happenings would be so happy. Like walking above the clouds, flying beside birds, lying on a bed of roses. I don’t know why I could say things like this. Maybe I’m in love or I’m not. Maybe I’m feeling so complicated, yet happy. I don’t know. I really don’t know. All of us surely feel this kind of emotion and feeling. Why is it so hard for us to let go when we have to? Until now, I can’t answer that question. Maybe you could? Some say, you have to learn to let go especially when there is no hope involve. When there is no respect. I remember someone older than me told me an advise, “If there is still love, even without the respect and the others, you could, you really could work it out.” I guess it depends now to the couple.

Letting go is like killing every second of your soul everytime you talk to him/her. It is like killing every demon you want to kill. You wouldn’t be able to know when is the right time to LET GO. If you’re hurt? Definitely, no. As far as I’m concern, you didn’t accept the love just because you wanted to be happy. It is always the pain that would enter the way. If you couldn’t seem to control the fights and the tussles, maybe that’s the time. Not to let go but to have space.

So now tell me, when is the right time to let go of your love.

Just out sate-of-the-art new sites have been tormenting me this over and done days. Swear, till hell freezes over, I ever think of knocking off a new one (though tied up with works and all). Really, yes. And straightaway.. I have formspring.me  and I couldn’t suspect any of my username. XD Too bad.

Then I came up with siopauwee. Getting in the way, Valentines has end, and sorry lovers. XD Going back.. I love to make new accounts at different sites (Well, preeminently the sites with you know, follow link. Haha.) but I always end up scratching them out and I don’t know why. Maybe, I am just sluggish.

I dig into personalizing my Multiply account. I mean, really personified. I made it blue with .gif of my name. Then I trashed it again for the 3rd time. Take a stab. Yeah, for the 3rd time, surely. See? That’s why at any time I start like to do an account I would mull over first (if till when would I uphold and look after my accounts. Hihi).

And now, I only have formspring.me, FB, Multiply and Twitter. I also have the blogger, and others… What you say man? Now, you could start opening these all sites and man, come hell or high water, just add me up.

After ever and again, I miss opening many accounts (many tabs you could click in your window) but I feel garbled and half-done whenever I’m not able to open my account/s at a single day. (maybe one reason why I cancelled ‘em all).

Well, I suppose now I could click many tabs again…

Sometimes it seems like I always have something in mind and I’m like, “Oh! I should blog this… blah blah.” Because at any point in time, I used to think of many. I mean, anything under the sun, and plus, anything under you. XD Haha! Just kidding aside though. I made blogs in other sites and I usually save ‘em with my files (Actually, I don’t do that before. Made mistakes, lessons learned. Haha!) and so, I posted one of my blog here about sites.

First thing I should talk about with my first post here is that.. Yeah, I think I should be blurting out something about myself. Hehe.

I’m Paupau Neuda. You could call me Pau. Just Pau. I’m 18 years of age recently residing here in Manila. I can bleed blue. Hehe. Just kidding. I am 3/4 Japanese and what was left is my Filipino blood. I have 2 siblings and I’m the youngest but not the ever spoildest though! I am currently in my 3rd year taking up BS Nursing at FEU Manila. Well, being a student nurse doesn’t make you feel relax all the time. Haha. You would always feel you wanna try to but you ain’t gon’ have the chance (Well, at some other situations though). The reason? Easy, you have the paperworks, the quizzes, the research and the other stuffs. Sometimes I feel like quitting (Yeah, this ain’t no drama baby) but sometimes I don’t. Haha. Going back to my biography, I love dogs. I so love dogs. If you do too. Then, that would be great. I used to eat like big meals. Yes. If you would categorize me to the 7 deadly sins, surely you know where I belong. XD Haha! Going out is a hard part for me. Homebuddy here friends. I need someone to accompany me before I could go to some far place. Haha! So humiliating. I am fond of making blogs and the likes as shown. Haha! )

I guess, that would be all. I need to review my notes. Remember? I couldn’t relax! Haha! Adieu friends.